To Help or Not To Help

My little fishie, 12.5 months old, feels so accomplished that he can pull himself up to a stand and play at that level for hours (that's what it feels like to him, at least). But, he is afraid to get down from that position - afraid of gravity and his uncoordinated muscles make it hard for him to trust that he can get down in a controlled way without bonking his head. So he asks (more like screeches) for me to come stand near him and either help him to fall gracefully... or pick him up.

 

This is an interesting METAPHOR for my role in the rest of his childhood. If I come to his aid too quickly or too much, he may be stifled to learn on his own. Yet, if I don't come to his aid and insist he figure it out on his own, he may learn not to ask for help (not a great option either). Usually, the answer is somewhere in between the 2 extremes.

So, whether I let him fall... or help him fall... or protect him from falling, I will teach him this valuable quote I found in college that really changed my outlook on life:

"Success is not measured by how much you fall down, but by the grace in which you get back up."

Theme of the Week: Elephants

What child development skill could possibly be related to elephants? Social Memory.

Elephants have been known to have amazing memories. Especially social memory - for instance, when the elder female elephants encounter an individual that they do not recognize, the herd bunches together. When an older female has had a bad experience at one of the feeding grounds, she approaches the next time in a more cautious manner.

Social memory is also an important skill for kids to learn and practice as they encounter new social situations. There are distinct social rules that correspond to certain situations... and kids feel less anxious when they are skilled at transitioning between those different social worlds. For instance, on a playground, it is socially appropriate to scream, yell, and bounce around the play structure. In a restaurant, the social rules are different. Remembering all of this is alot!

A crafty way to help reinforce a child's social memory is to create 'cheat sheets' that contain the social rules for each situation... then review the cheat sheet prior to a particular outing to activate her social memory. The child can decorate the cheat sheet... or better yet, if the child is old enough... make it into a comic strip.

Fun elephant finds:

Elephant T-shirt for Baby or Toddler

by Petite Fish

Handmade Elephant Clock

by DecoyLab

Elephant Cake Topper

by MyKobocek

Elephant Art Print

by PaintAllNightStudios

Theme of the Week: Fish

I have seen other cool blogs host a 'theme of the week', where they honor several adorable creations within a particular theme. The Crafty Shrink will a start this tradition, including a crafty 'tip' about child development that is relevant to the theme.

What child development skill could possibly be related to fish? Anxiety management.

When fish are out of their comfort zone, water, they gulp and gasp in a panic for air. Well, this happens with kids too. When they are out of their comfort zone, and are taxed in some way in which they can't cope, they panic... often gasping in fear or enduring that heavy crying 'hiccup'. A crafty way to intervene when a child feels like a 'fish out of water': Simplify. So, depending on the situation, decrease whatever is taxing in the moment. The goal becomes helping them 'breathe' and get comfortable again. Consider giving them a box of crayons and paper or something to snuggle as they 'take a break' and re-group. Now is not a time to pile on punishments or life lessons - their 'thinking brain' is not available when they are 'gasping for air'. Later, when they are in their comfort zone again, review what happened and make a plan for how to address it in the future.

Fun Fish Finds:

Fishbowl Comfort Kit - Felt Bag

by Petite Fish

 Orange Fish Against The Current Watercolor, 9 x 12

by Serpentina Designs

Tropical Fish Decorative Cookies, 1 dozen

by Lori's Place

Little Fish Sandwich Sak
 
 by Waste Not Saks

Time will tell...

A Crafty Shrink tip I recently recommended: use a timer to nag your kids instead of you. Whether it's to indicate when it's time to get off the computer, time to brush teeth, amount of time to wash their hands, etc.

The premise is that we all have an 'all done switch' in our brain. Our brain signals us when we are done using the potty, when we are done eating (because we are full), when we are done with the day and it's time to fall asleep. The idea is that sometimes, when a child is really into something (i.e. game) or avoiding something they don't want to do (i.e. wash hands for dinner), a timer acts as an external 'all-done switch' to nudge their brain into action. Consider explaining the rationale to your child - when they respond appropriately to the 'all done switch' timer, they get rewarded for helping their brain do it's job.

At the very least, it offers variety for the hundreds of prompts kids require.

Get out the bug spray!

I have been so inspired by the warm weather here lately in the Bay Area - 70's and beautiful. I have had visions of camping, under the stars, next to a toasty fire with my honey and little fishie.

So my alter-ego, "Petite Fish", swims into action... and out pops this adorable look to welcome the summer fun:

 To see more visit: http://www.petitefish.etsy.com

Finished writing MHC article...

I'm happy to have finished my article for Modern Handmade Child Magazine's (MHC) Summer issue on friendship skills in the context of camp. I really enjoy the challenge of bridging my parent training work with crafting activities. Now I need to finish a felt bag I am making that ties in with the theme of the MHC article. I am using fusible webbing, felt, and a waterproof layer for the inside. Then, one of my hand-made felt appliques (I'm doing my Petite Fish applique for this bag), and kids can have a fashionable and durable way to store supplies at camp. I will also go to www.etsy.com to locate some additional handmade products to pair with my article, such as camp tees, friendship activities, luggage tags, etc.

Check out Modern Handmade Child Magazine for a sample of products and articles that I am inspired by.

Petite Fish

So, The Crafty Shrink is a writing expression, a nod to my profession, with a crafty twist. I write about child development and ways parents can teach their child(ren) important life skills, using crafting and handmade goods. I am also a "Dear Crafty Shrink" columnist and contributing writer for the most amazing magazine on the planet - Modern Handmade Child.

Petite Fish, on the other hand (pardon the unintentional pun) is my handmade expression, a nod to my inner crafting addiction. I make swimmingly good attire for little fishies. Check out my special boutique children's garments on my Petite Fish website at www.petitefish.etsy.com.

Crafty Shrink quote

"Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist when we grow up." - Pablo Picasso

As parents, we can model the importance of creativity by showing our child(ren) that we carve out time in the hustle and bustle of our lives. Leave out a project in the corner of the dining room table. Have a basket of knitting supplies next to the couch. When you drop your little fishie off to the playdate, announce proudly, "while you are having fun, I will be having fun with my art supplies at home". Then show her what you are working on. These trails of evidence will help to preserve the child artist within as she grows up.

Etsy Kids

I have recently begun building a lovely connection with Etsy Kids: an on-line collective of handmade artisans. In particular, I have enjoyed conspiring with Shannon (The Clever Kitty) and Gretchen (Chichiboulie), talented women who are leaders and innovators in the small business handmade industry. Check out EtsyKids by clicking on the link below to see a special world of children's products:


Visit EtsyKids

Crafty Shrink answers questions!

I am delighted to tailor my Crafty Shrink tips if there's an interest for readers. No need to give me too many details, just the gist of your question, and I'd be happy to offer a crafty idea for how you can teach a skill or highlight an important value in a fun way for you and your child.

To be honest, most of the information in my tips can be found on the internet... but here I give my special Crafty Shrink twist.

Sample questions:

"My 9 year-old boy can sometimes be a sore loser. Any tips?" - Rita, New Jersey
"Sometimes my 4 year-old daughter just refuses to clean-up. What can I do? -Katie, MN
"My husband often travels alot for work. The kids can get really moody. Any ideas to make it a little easier? -Maya, CA

I look forward to hearing from you!

Modern Handmade Child Magazine

I'm happy to be a contributing writer for Modern Handmade Child Magazine. My first Crafty Shrink article was featured in this beautiful issue honoring Mother's Day. I wrote about an important child development lesson, titled 'Self-expression'. Click on the magazine below, peruse the whole thing - it's a really impressive magazine - there is none other like it. And be sure to check out previous issues to see amazing writings and products, all honoring the pride of handmade.

You lookin' at me?

At lunch today, my little fishie (almost 1 year-old son) snatched up a fist full of chopped broccoli and smooshed it into his mouth with vigor. He then proceeded to take those green spotted, slimy hands and rub his eyes. So then those green broccoli sprinkles dotted his brow and it reminded me... kids often don't know what others see on their faces. They often just have a feeling (i.e. getting sleepy)... and express it. We are the ones who have the pleasure (or burden) to interpret what our child is communicating.

A crafty shrink activity that my nanny thought of is to get a hand mirror and show the baby or child what we see on their face. At first, it could be fun to do when their face is naturally messy with food. Show them the hand mirror and comment on what you both see (if they are verbal, ask them to comment). In this case "I see you have green brocolli on your eyebrow where you wiped your eye." Then, take a wet paper towel and wipe it off to show messy vs. clean, and say "I see you don't have any more green on your face. What else do we see?" Then show happy face vs. angry face. Sad face vs. surprised face.

And let me know how it goes...

Yellow Fluffles and ditto-bugs, please!

My 2.5 year-old nephew's favorite things right now are yellow fluffles (flowers) and ditto-bugs (lady bugs). Oh and choo-choo's (trains). He says "yellow fluffles. Happy."

A Crafty Shrink thought: this is the first Spring when he is mobile and verbal at the same time. Major developmental accomplishment! Last year, he could point to things he liked and we could guess what he wanted. Now, he can use language to communicate, share, and express his delight at all the new Spring things he is experiencing. A crafty way to reinforce the VALUE of HIS new discoveries - have Mom, Dad, Nana, whoever - go on bug hunts and fluffle hunts together.

Meet and Greet

Hi! I'm happy to announce the birth of my blog, The Crafty Shrink. Isn't it awesome? Such a fun blend of my profession, my calling, and my crafting. This was an easy birth - much like my son once I got that epidural. I'm still in the infancy stage with this blog thing. Where my son is awkwardly learning to stand, I am bumbling along figuring out how blogs work... so please let me know what you think.